


I love you - I hate you

by greensilverserpent



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 23:35:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11301156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greensilverserpent/pseuds/greensilverserpent
Summary: Reasons for and against their relationship blended together. Now one of them needs to decide which side to take, or live with the consequences until the end.





	I love you - I hate you

**Author's Note:**

> Creation: 2006-07-17 10:17pm to 10:35pm  
> Inspiration: A fanvid on youtube at the time called 'Black Black Severus Heart' by 'thecopycatkillers'.

You disturbed my peace again. I told you it would be useless to come to Hogwarts, let alone to my personal quarters. But as always you ignored it. I hate it when you do that. If I say don't, I mean it in the very sense of the word.

It was not the first time you did that, either. Back when we went to school here together you pulled that trick on me every so often. We had separate dorms, at least at first. But you would always find a way to see me, even if I had given no indication that I wanted you there.

Love is a strong emotion, Lucius; as is hate. I don't know which one I associate with you. Maybe a blend of both. I don't want you near, messing with everything I so carefully set up. But then I need you near; your aura always challenging me.  
I am not a masochist but I must admit to liking the way your mind works. It sets so complicated patterns one usually finds only in potion-making. Then again, you weren't the best in that particular subject but quite near the top. Almost funny to see how our lives turned out.  
You, the ever aristocratic, polite gentleman. With a good family name and a history that goes back into the old days of our world.  
And me, the ever dark potions master. My family name is older than yours, although not many remember that. I do not have a family of my own, being completely gay hindered me in that.  
Another difference is that I do not care for the world of the rich you seem to enjoy so much. I do not even care when one of your invitations arrives, stating in dress-robes, followed up with a pompous ball where everyone is there because of status or manipulation or both.  
I know how things work in your world, Lucius. I know and I despise it. But I somehow cannot bring myself to end our relationship.  
You intrigue me. Sometimes you do things not even I could do, cold-hearted bastard that the entire Hogwarts population calls me. But if they had seen you in that moment, blood dripping from your expensive robe while you slashed at a human body with a small knife, I guess I would not be the villain anymore, would I?

And now you are here again, disturbing my rest, eating away at my conscience. You were never one for pleasantries in private. You say what you want and why, even if it is so obscene that some would cringe at the mere suggestion. But not you.  
You want my body and you will get it. In every way you wish.  
I am a slave to your desire. Absolutely helpless to resist your every gesture.

I hate you for that but at the same time I love you for giving me the one thing no one else ever could.


End file.
